Sunday 20 October 2013

Report on Gerry Adams visit to the London Irish centre





Gerry Adams a former I.R.A terrorist delivered a speech yesterday at the London Irish centre.  The conference was aimed at promoting peace and harmony throughout the world.  Gerry (see main photo) who is now a member of Sinn Fein was previously known as "blow job Gerry" due to using a blow torch to torture political opposition and to extort money from people.  Others have stated that Gerry`s nick name was christened via other activities including nocturnal prowling in the local park in the early hours of the morning.  The meeting at the Irish centre was hailed a success and was attended by around 60 people. The centre managed to sell 1400 pints of guiness and dozens of plastic leprechauns.  Maps of Ireland were also sold for people of Irish descent who wish to discover their ancestry, and go for a night out in Dublin town centre.

Gerry Adams condemned British colonialism and stated that Brits should not be in Ulster or Ireland, Gerry stated that he welcomed people from places like Somalia and Pakistan, and that corner shops were now a major part of society.  Gerry`s surname actually traces back to Scotland, so Adams himself is of non Irish origin.  The conference was met by angry protesters who accused Adams of being a terrorist, bricks and bottles were hurled at Adams who managed to sneak into the building via a rear exit, no arrests were made. Matthew Collins was also due to speak at the conference but got lost in the local Mcdonalds and ended up in the kitchen eating burgers and chips before being escorted off the premise by the security. Matthew then decided to go to a local off licence and buy some tins of special brew lager.  The day was hailed a success by members of the republican community who want to see the Union flag banned and the British Isles broken up into pieces and fragmented with a pneumatic drill.  Gerry has also stated that he now has a number of Irish builders and tarmac companies that are ready to sabotage Britain`s roads in order to achieve the break up of the British union.  Adams has remained unrepentant about his terrorist activities and stated that it was all part of the cause.  After the conference Gerry enjoyed several pints of Guiness and took part in tarmacking some local drive ways in which he charged ten thousand pound for a thin layer of tarmac.