Sunday 5 January 2014

Matthew Collins part six hundred and thirty seven when he was digging a tunnel for the Aboriginal community of Australia in search for a non existent aboriginal who invented sciences and art




While Matty was in Australia playing the victim role who escaped the clutches of the far right, he decided to move in with the aboriginal community, and to cut a very long drawn out story short that would probably bore the pants off people, they ran out of Fosters lager and Matty refused to buy another crate as he had already purchased 50 crates that the Aboriginals had already drank.  Refusing to buy the next crate of beer in native Australian culture is extremely offensive in fact it is so offensive that a native Australian will commit first degree homicide with a hatchet while screaming for more beer, and then get a White left wing solicitor to get them acquitted on the basis of provocation that he is from a poor deprived area that was robbed from him by evil White colonialists that just happen to stumble across Australia during a day trip with a group of convicts from Limerick who were caught "borrowing" a loaf of bread.  The ship ran into serious problems when it ran out of alcohol and had to stay in Australia.  The locals were so over joyed at seeing other people from around the globe that they put on a banquet for the visitors using fried kangaroos and fellow tribesmen that they had just had an argument with five minutes earlier.





Meanwhile Matty then decided that he had to scarper very quickly or else he would be being spit roasted for the next six months in the Australian desert that makes up part of an Aboriginal`s main diet.  On a more positive note Matty lost some weight due to the extreme heat in the Australian desert.  This was a massive cultural shock for Matty who is used to loitering in the filthy back streets of Soho searching for magazines imported from Thailand.